News from the Room
Great Expectations
So last week I was shortlisted by the Australian Father’s Day Council and The Fathering Project for the Australian Community Father of the Year.
It was a welcome surprise. I didn’t even know I’d been nominated. I was proud of myself and grateful to be recognised as a dad, especially because six years ago I wasn’t seen as one. Even though Billie made us parents.
Once the surprise wore off and the buzz settled, something else showed up. The weight of expectation. I started thinking about all the things I’ve actually done to deserve it.
And if I’m being fully honest, I’m not sure I’ve done anything that big yet. Not enough to be shortlisted, anyway.
I’ve got a lot of plans for Room Eleven. A lot I want to build. A lot of people I want to help — not just in the baby loss space, but anyone carrying a grief that’s hard to talk about.
Maybe the problem is I’m comparing everything I’ve done so far to everything I still want to do. That’s not exactly a fair fight. But that’s how my mind works sometimes. Maybe yours does too.
Anyway, I am grateful. Genuinely. I’m glad the things I’ve done have mattered to people. I’m glad the work is starting to land.
Even if the recognition feels a bit heavy, it’s also fuel. It reminds me why I started, and what I’m walking toward.
Still showing up. Still moving forward. One step at a time.
The 411
This Week at Room Eleven
Ok, so first off, I didn’t make it into the finals for the Australian Community Father of the Year.
To be honest, I wasn’t expecting to get any further. But it was still disappointing to read the email when it arrived. If only for the awareness the award could have brought to the baby loss community. Just getting more eyes to see the large and silent impact it has. That would’ve meant a lot.
Waves of Change Conference
I’m delighted to announce I’ll be attending the Waves of Change Conference next month to co-chair a session called Birth: Riding the Waves.
This conference brings together the Stillbirth CRE’s Annual National Stillbirth Forum and the Queensland Maternal Fetal Medicine Symposium, so most of the people in the room will be doctors, researchers, midwives, and a few parent voices.
Last time I was at the event, I spoke on a parent panel alongside some amazing advocates. So I’m really looking forward to going back, hearing what’s changed, and catching up with a few familiar faces.
The Room Eleven Podcast — Episode 4 is out now
The latest episode of the Room Eleven Podcast is out now on all podcast platforms and YouTube.
This one’s a Q&A with yours truly. I tried to answer some of the questions I’ve seen, heard, read asked about how grief impacts people, and how we can better support someone going through it.
If you get a chance to listen, I’d be grateful for a review on Spotify. It helps the podcast reach more people who might find comfort in it.
Sponsor a Kilometre. Power the Ride. Fund Real Change.
As mentioned last week, but leaving it in as a reminder. We launched a new way to get behind Scooting for Hope — and it’s perfect for people and businesses who want to be part of the record-breaking ride, without, you know, riding 270 km on a scooter.
We’re inviting 135–270 individuals and businesses to sponsor 1 or 2 kilometres of this world record attempt.
1 km = $150
Includes a certificate of appreciation, your name on our sponsor wall and official tracker, plus an invite to the private event at Calder Park.2 km (1+ lap) = $250
Everything above — plus a feature in the livestream, event materials, and across our socials.
This isn’t just a donation. It’s a purpose-driven partnership.
Support helps cover the infrastructure and broadcast costs, so every dollar from public donations can go straight to the Pregnancy After Loss Service at the Royal Women’s.
Room Eleven takes no profit. Just heart, wheels and momentum.
Weekly Musings
What I’m Watching: Brassic
Now according to google, the word "Brassic" is a British slang term, typically used in Cockney rhyming slang, meaning broke or penniless. It is a shortened version of "boracic lint," which was a type of medical dressing. The rhyming slang "boracic lint" then became "skint," which is another slang term for being broke.
The tv series Brassic is a UK series about a group of small-town mates pulling small-time cons and slowly get embroiled in bigger and bigger shenanigans. It’s like if Guy Ritchie made a dramedy with Ricky Gervais, it’d probably look like this.
This show came out of nowhere for me. I’d never seen or heard of it before, until I caught an ad while watching Boiling Point (my “What I’m Watching” from last week) on SBS On Demand. Which, to be honest, I barely ever use. But I’m glad I did, because if not for that random ad, I probably wouldn’t have checked it out.
And now I’ve already knocked out season 1.
It’s got a great cast, most of them I hadn’t seen before. Joe Gilgun (who also co-created it) I remembered from his stint on the series Misfits with Iwan Rheon and Robert Sheehan (another now classic series). He’s got this unique energy that just steals every scene. Dominic West (the Wire) is in it too. Small role but still eats the screen every time he shows up.
What stood out the most though was how the group of mates, who, aside from one, are all your stereotypical UK style tough-guy types (think lock stock), are also really open with each other. They tell each other they love one another, they show up, they’re vulnerable. If they weren’t all petty criminals, you’d think they were the healthiest, most well-adjusted group of mates going around.
It’s exactly the kind of show I needed. Something funny but not sitcomy. With heart, but not overcooked drama. And with five seasons on Netflix, there’s plenty to keep going with.
What I’m Reading: Heaven’s River (Bobiverse Book 4)
The Bobs head into a massive, self-contained alien world to track down a long-lost clone. Less space battles, more world-building and slow-burn mystery. Still plenty of Bob, just with a quieter kind of tension.
This book is a nice change of pace for the series. It’s still got the familiar characters and that ongoing expansion of the Bobiverse, but it doesn’t stray too far from the core group or setting.
As the title gives away, most of the story takes place in Heaven’s River, a kind of sealed ecosystem run by otter-like alien creatures. The theory is, they might know the whereabouts of “Bender,” one of the first and long-lost Bob clones. So the crew creates androids to infiltrate their society and figure it out.
There are still some of the usual thread, space stuff, hints of bigger stakes brewing for the Bobs, but they’re not front and centre here. It’s more contained. And a good reset from the big, galaxy-spanning drama of the earlier books.
Band I’m Listening To: System of a Down
System has always been a go-to in the gym when I need to get fired up. I remember listening to them in my youth and just enjoying the music.
But now, listening again years later, the lyrics resonate even more. They feel more relevant. Or maybe they’ve always been relevant, and it’s just that the state of the world at the moment, and how amplified everything feels online, has brought them into sharper focus.
Anyway, if you’re into something loud with a bit of political rage baked in, give them a spin.
Also, my son’s discovered them now. His favourite is Chop Suey and is very much in his heavy metal era. Which I fully support.
This past week’s had me reflecting a lot. On the weight of the expectations I put on myself. On whether I’m living up to the standard I want to be at.
Some days I feel more like the lads from Brassic than the nominees for Community Father of the Year. Other times, I feel like one of the Bobs in Heaven’s River, watching from the sidelines while others do bigger, more impactful things for the community.
But most of the time, I’m just comparing myself to a future version of me. A version ten years ahead, who’s ticked off all the goals I’m still chasing. And no matter how far I run, I’ll never catch up with him.
It gets a bit demoralising, if I’m honest. But it can also be the thing that keeps me going. So I’m trying to focus on that, on how the gap can motivate me, rather than weigh me down. One foot in front of the other. Keep on keeping on.
If this newsletter resonated with you, I’d love if you shared it with someone. Forward it on to a mate, a colleague, a family member. The more people we reach, the more we can help.
See you next week!
Rob
Giving Back
Donate a Still Billie Box
Our care packages for families who’ve lost their baby, named after our baby daughter Billie. Offering comfort during what should be a special, happy time.
Your donation can make a real difference in allowing us to provide free Still Billie Boxes to hospitals across Australia and fund our Scooting for Hope $100k Campaign.
Room Eleven is a social enterprise business and does not qualify for DGR status.