News from the Room
The Waves of Change
Last week felt like stepping into two completely different rooms that were somehow part of the same conversation.
The first room was at the BPAC (Bereaved Parents Advocacy Committee) workshop. About thirty researchers, clinicians, politicians & bereaved parents all there for one purpose, how to make bereavement care better for families. Not “better” in a vague, corporate way, but in the small, very human moments that shape the entire experience.
We talked about communication, the handover process, and making sure families don’t have to repeat their story every time a new face walks in the room. I shared my perspective as a dad, what helped, what didn’t, and the kind of support that can’t be captured in a checklist. It wasn’t just theory. People on both ends of the spectrum were honest about the challenges, and we explored practical things that could actually work in hospitals tomorrow, not five years from now.
The next room was the Boulevard Auditorium at the Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre. Where I was privileged to co-chair a morning of truly passionate speakers, experts in their fields, in front of 340 of the top clinicians and researchers in Maternal Foetal Medicine and stillbirth research space. It was exciting and nerve racking, I think I did enjoy commanding the room a little too much as multiple times I found myself conducting breathing exercises for the entire audience. I am very grateful to have been part of it and being able to share Billie with so many people.
Having said that. Not everything was perfect. A couple of moments felt too casual for the weight of the topic. Hearing the way some of the clinicians talk about their statistics and data it truly shows they have extracted themselves away from the huma experience of what those numbers represent. Each statistic, every single finding, there’s a story, there’s parents grieving, babies being forgotten, and families falling apart. It made me understand the reason why there’s such a gap in the bereavement care space.
The fact they also don’t do any training or education in adequate bereavement care for midwives or nurses prior to becoming accredited is shocking. Finding out that majority of midwives get their bereavement care experience through being thrown in the deep end is astounding. And if it were any other industry, it would be classed as an unsafe work practice. They not only will be providing improper, and potentially damaging bereavement care for their patients, it’s also a detriment to their own mental wellbeing.
It made me realise that my Room Eleven Peer Grief Literacy & Support Workshop should also be marketed towards the medical sector and universities. It won’t solve the issue, but it will give them a better chance than going into a traumatic experience blind.
Overall, I saw people who’ve been doing this work for decades still showing up. I saw parents using their grief to push for change. I saw researchers and clinicians actively listening to the parents’ voice. A voice that in my opinion needs a stronger presence in future conferences.
And maybe that’s how the momentum builds. Not in a solid research presentation. It builds in moments like these, in a workshop conversation between a clinician and a parent, a researcher and a politician, or in a note someone scribbles down to follow up on later. It’s can be slow. Sometimes painfully so. But the more and more these events happen, the louder our voices will become. Every voice adds to it. Every finding builds on it. Every story nudges the waves of change further.
So keep sharing your story. It matters.
SCOOTING FOR HOPE
24 Hours - 1 Scooter - 1 Purpose
$100K for Pregnancy after loss Care
The 411
This Week at Room Eleven
This week kicked off with a big meeting with Calder Park Raceway Management, the livestream production, the hospital fundraising head, and me. It was the first time we’ve all been in the same meeting together. With some meeting for the first time. Everyone got up to speed on where things are at, what the next steps look like, and how each group can help. The good thing is we all left feeling like we’re on the same page.
A couple of days later, I met with the livestream team again, this time with another events pro, who’s run events such as Vivid Sydney and the Gran Prix. It was an introductory meeting but it’s looking positive and they look set to jump in and really help drive this day forward. The event is shaping up to be more than just a Guinness World Record attempt — it’s turning into a big, fun, community day that’s going to benefit everyone involved.
Next on my list is heading back to the venue with the crew to map out how it’s all going to run on the day. Once that’s locked in, I’ll fill you in on the details.
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Weekly Musings
What I’m Watching: The Bank of Dave 2: the Loan Ranger
This week I watched Bank of Dave 2. I’ll start by saying it wasn’t as good as the first one, still a nice, casual watch, but it didn’t quite hit the same uplifting emotion mark as its predecessor. It’s another story from the same impressive character, the real-life Dave who started the community bank, and this time he’s going after the “fast cash” lenders the companies charging ridiculous interest rates (sometimes over 1000%) and trapping people in never ending debt.
The film follows his push to get these lenders banned from the UK, just as they’d already been banned in the US. It’s inspiring to see people out there still fighting to make a difference against greedy bilionares’, even if the last 20–30 minutes felt a bit far-fetched.
Which later I found out those parts didn’t actually happen.
Still, if you enjoyed the first one, this is worth a watch.
What I’m Reading: Not Till We ArE lOST (bOOK 5 OF THE bOBIVERSE SERIES)
I’ve been stop starting the latest instalment of the Bobiverse series — Not Till We Are All Lost — and I’m about halfway through. To recap. the series follows Bob, a 21st century American human, who dies and becomes cryogenically frozen, only to become a replicant one hundred or so years in the future, and explores the universe by cloning himself into multiple “Bobs,” each with their own quirks, motivations and goals. It’s part space exploration, part philosophy, part nerdy fun.
The latest book in the series has me feeling a bit meh. All the familiar characters I love are still here, doing new things, and there are even some new “Bobs” in the mix, and ones from previous books becoming bigger players… but it’s just not hitting me the same way as the earlier books. Maybe I’ve spent too much time in this universe, or maybe the main characters have reached a point where there’s less growth or I’m less surprised by them.
I’m still reading though so who knows, it might surprise me by the end.
Quote I’m Pondering: "Ready isn’t a feeling, it’s a decision."
This really resonates with me because I’ve never felt fully ready to do anything. The way my mind works, if I wait to feel ready, the excitement to actually do it disappears.
I never felt ready to run a marathon, and I never felt ready for any of the 366 days I ran last year.
I’m not feeling “ready” for the Scooting for Hope event either. But I prepare for it anyway, because I choose to.
Which ties into another quote I heard this week: “There are feelings, and there are thoughts.”
So even if I feel unready, the thought to decide anyway is what being ready really means. Let’s hope all the decisions I’ve made to be ready this year add up to me accomplishing my 270km scooter ride in November.
This week reminded me that ready isn’t a feeling, it’s a decision. From sitting in planning meetings for Scooting for Hope to standing in front of hundreds of clinicians at the Waves of Change conference, I’ve rarely felt ready for any of it. But that’s the point, I’ve learned that change doesn’t come from waiting until we feel prepared, it comes from choosing to show up anyway. Whether it’s tackling a 270km scooter ride, sharing Billie’s story in a room full of researchers, or even just pushing through a book or film that doesn’t quite land, the decision to keep going is what moves things forward.
If you’d like to help us keep moving forward with Scooting for Hope and the work of Room Eleven, the best way is to share this newsletter, spread the word, or reach out if you’d like to get involved.
See you next week.
Rob
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