News from the Room
“The Silent Struggle of Christmas Grief”
Christmas can be a tough time for families navigating waves of grief. It’s not always the “most wonderful time of the year” when there’s someone special missing. Grief doesn’t care about the date on the calendar or the festive cheer. It shows up when it wants to, and during Christmas, those waves can feel like they’re crashing down harder than ever.
Grief has a way of pulling you further from shore, doesn’t it? One moment, you’re standing firm, feeling okay, and the next, a memory or a fleeting thought catches you off guard, and suddenly you’re swept up, struggling to keep your head above water. The empty chair at the table, the traditions that feel incomplete, or the milestones that will never be, it all comes crashing in.
But just like the ocean, grief isn’t always wild and torturous. It ebbs and flows. Some waves knock you over, leaving you gasping for air, while others are gentle, washing over you quietly. And as hard as it is, if we don’t learn to adjust our sails, the waves overwhelm everything.
Adjusting our sails doesn’t mean forgetting who we’re missing or forcing ourselves to be “fine.” It’s about finding a way to keep moving, even when the sea feels unpredictable. Maybe that’s leaning on the people around you, creating new traditions, or simply giving yourself permission to feel whatever comes, without judgment or expectation.
Grief is part of the journey for so many of us at Christmas, and it’s okay to acknowledge that. You don’t have to ride the waves alone. You’re allowed to grieve, to cry, to laugh, and to remember all at once. And maybe, just maybe, adjusting your sails will help you find a moment of calm, even if the waves are still there.
To anyone who feels like they were lost at sea this Christmas, you’re not alone, and there’s a community here to support you.
The 411
This Week at Room Eleven
Website Update: Our “Why”
This week at Room Eleven, I’ve been focused on revamping the website. The goal was to better showcase our “why”, the values we hold close and the purpose behind everything we do.
I’ve also worked on clearly highlighting the services and offerings we provide, with the intention of helping both individuals and organisations. It’s all about making sure that anyone who visits the site can easily understand how we can support them on their journey through grief, growth, and resilience.
I’m excited to share this new look and feel, and I hope it resonates with everyone who finds their way to us.
New Merch: With a Purpose
This week, we’ve launched some exciting new merch in partnership with Printful, who create print-on-demand products worldwide.
Right now, we have classic tees, comfort hoodies, and my personal favourite, the Room Eleven oversized heavy cotton graphic tee. I designed it to bring back that vintage ‘90s fashion I remember from my youth.
But here’s the best part: all profits from these pieces go towards funding the creation of more Still Billie boxes, which we will distribute to bereavement teams in hospitals across Australia.
Every purchase helps us support families during their toughest times. It’s not just about looking good, it’s about making a meaningful difference.
More merch is being developed as we speak so watch this space!
366 Days of Running: Key Takeaways
With the year drawing to a close, I’m about to complete my 366-day run for stillbirth awareness. Looking back, it’s been much more than just a physical challenge; it’s been a year of reflection, growth, and personal discovery. Here are a few of the key lessons I’ve learned along the way:
A Broader Understanding of Patience
This journey has taught me that patience is about embracing the process, no matter how slow it may seem. Some days the progress felt minimal, many days I felt like I was regressing, and yet when I look back at the year as a whole, the strides have accumulated into progress.
Patience means trusting that the consistent work you’re doing now will pay off in the long run (pun intended), even when it feels like you’re not moving forward. This is something I’ve carried with me both in my running and in other areas of life, especially Room Eleven.
Discipline trumps motivation
Discipline has been the foundation of this challenge. There were plenty of days when I didn’t feel like running (basically most days), when the weather was awful or I was exhausted, or like I am right at this moment, sick as a dawg. But discipline is what got me out the door. It’s easy to wait around for the motivation to kick in, but motivation won’t carry you through the hard days. It’s discipline and the daily consistent effort that leads to long-term success and achievement of your goals.
Dynamic Persistence
There were times when things didn’t go according to plan, like when I was tired, busy, or facing unexpected challenges that ended up eating into my schedule and pushing my run back. But dynamic persistence has been about adapting, adjusting, and continuing to maintain focus, even when the path isn’t straightforward. It’s about sticking with it, adjusting from changes or setbacks, and pushing through, knowing that the goal is worth the effort, even when the journey unfolds differently than expected.
Consistent Daily Practice
Committing to a goal is one thing, but showing up every day is what moves the dial. The key takeaway is that consistent daily practice is what creates real change, not just the initial enthusiasm at the start.
Showing up every day, no matter how I feel, has reinforced that progress comes from steady, deliberate effort over time. This mindset has transformed how I approach other areas of life, especially Room Eleven and my goals for 2025.
Whether it’s creating meaningful content, expanding my talks, or planning ambitious challenges, the discipline I’ve built through running reminds me that small, consistent actions lead to powerful results. It’s about trusting the process, putting in the work, and letting dedication drive success.
As I approach the final run of the year, I’m grateful for the lessons this challenge has taught me about resilience, about showing up every day, and about embracing the journey, no matter how long it takes (or how sick I am). It’s been a privilege to run for stillbirth awareness, and I’m proud of what I’ve learned along the way.
I’ll be reflecting more on this journey in a separate post, but for now, I’m grateful for the lessons, the km’s, and the cause that kept me getting out there everyday.
It’s been a privilege to honour all those precious babies with every step.
Weekly Musings
Quote I’m Pondering: “Fear is a mile wide & an inch deep”
With the year winding down and my goals for 2024 almost complete, I’ve started looking ahead to what I want to achieve in 2025.
Some of the goals I’ve set for myself feel pretty hefty and almost out of reach, and that little voice of fear has started to creep in. The fear of failing, of falling short. It’s natural thought process, but it’s not a very helpful one.
That’s why I’ve been reflecting on this quote I heard from Alex Hormozi: “Fear is a mile wide & an inch deep.” It really resonated with me because it’s a reminder that fear often feels much bigger than it actually is. It can seem all consuming, but when you break it down, you realise it’s not as deep or as powerful as it appears. It’s a surface-level barrier, its the resistance that can be pushed through.
This quote has been helping me get out of my head and focus on what’s next. The goals ahead may seem daunting, but I’m starting to see fear for what it is, something to acknowledge, but not something that should hold me back.
I’m excited to share more about my 2025 plans with you soon – it’s shaping up to be an incredible year!
What I’m Watching: Squid Game Season 2
Stream on Netflix
It’s hard to believe it’s been three years since Squid Game first took the world by storm. I was working from home during Melbourne’s notorious lockdowns, with my son only a few weeks old, when I sat down and watched the first season.
The writing, acting, and storytelling were so compelling that it didn’t matter I didn’t speak the language – it was a universal experience. Based on how big it was, I wasn’t the only one.
Now, with Season 2 released just after Christmas, I didn’t wait to dive in. I’d been anticipating it for months, and after three episodes, I can say it’s just as engaging as the first. New characters have been introduced, and the world-building has expanded, all while staying true to what made the show so captivating in the first place.
I’m hooked and eager to see where the story goes next.
What I’m Listening To: “Boots Boots Boots” by Rudyard Kipling (28 Years Later edit)
Listen to the 28 Years Later edit here - https://youtu.be/BR9tfe9B2ac?si=o0dwHPETvgaqjZrO
I recently came across “Boots Boots Boots” by Rudyard Kipling through the trailer for 28 Years Later, and I have to admit, even though the poem is over 100 years old, I hadn’t heard it before.
For anyone unfamiliar, the 28 Days Later franchise is a post-apocalyptic horror series helmed mostly by iconic director Danny Boyle. It focuses on the aftermath of a virus outbreak that turns people into zombie-like creatures with the added terror of being fast rage fueled beings. The film and its sequel, 28 Weeks Later, have become key references in the genre, with their raw portrayal of survival, fear, and chaos in a world turned upside down.
The poem itself, written by Kipling in 1903, was inspired by the Boer War and captures the harsh realities of battle. It’s a powerful, rhythmic piece that emphasises the relentless march of soldiers, duty, and the harshness of war. The words convey a sense of unyielding perseverance, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds.
In the 28 Years Later trailer, the voice you hear reciting Kipling’s poem is that of actor Taylor Holmes (1878–1959), recorded in 1915. His deep, commanding voice that slowly builds in hysteria adds an extra layer of intensity to the action on screen. The combination of Kipling’s words and Holmes’ delivery makes the poem an incredibly compelling listen, especially when I’m looking for motivation to push harder on my runs.
It captures that relentless drive, much like the characters in the film trying to survive, and it’s become a great soundtrack to fuel my own endurance.
31st of December - The Final Run for Stillbirth
As I mentioned in last week’s newsletter, my final 6 km run for stillbirth awareness will take place on the 31st of December. This coming Tuesday!
The run will start at 11 am at the Maribyrnong River, beginning at the Pirate Ship Playground, and I would love for as many people as possible to join me. This run is a chance to come together and honour the 2,196 babies lost to stillbirth this year.
It’s not just about completing the distance, but about remembering these beautiful lives, supporting grieving families, and raising awareness.
Whether you’re running, walking, or just showing your support, your presence will mean so much. Let’s finish this year on a powerful note of unity, remembrance, and hope.
I can’t wait to see you there.
Christmas can be a tough time for many, especially when grief makes its presence felt. It’s not always the “most wonderful time of the year” when someone is missing, and grief doesn’t care about the date, it shows up at any random time.
But like the ocean, grief comes in waves, sometimes knocking us over, sometimes washing over us quietly. The key is adjusting our sails, not ignoring our grief, but allowing ourselves to keep moving forward with it.
As this year comes to a close, I’m filled with gratitude for the lessons learned, the progress made, and the unwavering support from all of you. Whether you’ve followed along with my journey, shared in the struggles, or stood by Room Eleven’s mission, I want to thank you.
The road ahead may not always be easy, but together, we can continue to honour, remember, and support one another. Here’s to a new year filled with growth, resilience, and meaningful connections.
Wishing you peace, strength, and joy as we step into 2025.
Giving Back
Donate a Still Billie Box
Our care packages for families who’ve lost their baby, named after our baby daughter Billie. Offering comfort during what should be a joyful season. Your donation can make a real difference in allowing us to provide free Still Billie Boxes to hospitals across Australia.
Room Eleven is a social enterprise business and does not qualify for DGR status.