News from the Room
Hope for the best - Prepare for the worst
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. That was the theme for our family this week.
My wife booked a dream trip to Noosa in south east Queensland for us and her mum’s 60th birthday—a trip we’d been looking forward to for a whole year. It was our kids’ first flight, and our three-year-old was over the moon to be going on a plane. We landed on the Sunshine Coast on a bright Monday afternoon, excited to celebrate and relax in an amazing villa in Noosa. But then the news started coming through that Cyclone Alfred was barrelling our way, expected to hit by the end of the week.
We decided to make the most of our plans, even though some places were already closed as everyone was busy securing their properties and businesses against the cyclone. By Wednesday, it looked increasingly likely that we’d be stuck in Noosa. Half of us were on the phone with the airline trying to book an earlier flight, while the other half gathered supplies in case we ended up stranded in floodwaters for a day or so. It was a true case of hoping for the best while preparing for the worst.
Thankfully, we managed to secure a flight out a day early on Thursday. While speaking with the crew, we learned that the Friday flight was almost certain to be cancelled—which would have left us stuck in Queensland right in the middle of the cyclone.
This theme resonates deeply with families experiencing a subsequent pregnancy after a loss. They start with dreams of a smooth, straightforward journey, but deep down they know how quickly things can turn. That’s why they naturally prepare themselves mentally for the worst—scheduling extra check-ups, increasing monitoring, and having multiple scenario plans ready to go. These measures aren’t just sensible; they’re essential for peace of mind. It’s a reminder that life is all about balancing hope with practical preparation.
In the end, as we continued to monitor the cyclone—checking news updates and tweaking our arrangements—it became clear that the only constant in life is change, and that life is full of unexpected twists.
Sometimes, all you can do is keep your chin up and stay flexible.
The 411
This Week at Room Eleven
Absolutely nothing.
Thanks to the cyclone throwing a spanner in our trip, downtime to work on Room Eleven was nonexistent. Every waking minute was spent making the most of our time in Noosa before having to cut the trip short and fly out early. There wasn’t much room for outreach or campaign prep.
I was also meant to attend the first Parent Advisory Council meeting for the University of Utah’s Stillbirth CRE, but I couldn’t get online when it was scheduled.
Not ideal—but that’s life. Time to double down next week and get back on track.
Weekly Musings
Quote I’m Pondering: "There is no such thing as closure, only learning to live with the unanswered questions."
People love to say things like “time heals all wounds” or “you just need closure,” like grief is some problem you can neatly solve. But the truth is, some losses don’t have answers. Some things happen, and you’re left carrying the weight of them forever.
Real healing isn’t about getting over it or finding some perfect resolution. It’s about learning to live with the what-ifs, the unknowns, and the things you’ll never fully understand. Some wounds don’t close—they just become part of you.
And maybe that’s okay.
What I’m Reading: STORIES OF LOSS
In the lead-up to the first PAC meeting this week (which I missed), each member shared their story of loss via email. This was a way for us to get to know each other and understand our shared experiences before meeting.
I won’t share the details of these deeply personal stories, but reading them was a powerful reminder that no matter how much time has passed or how different each experience is, the pain of loss is universal for families in this community. It reinforced my belief that sharing our stories brings people closer, breaks down barriers, and creates space for other families to feel comfortable opening up about their own grief.
What I'm Watching: A Real Pain
Synopsis:
A Real Pain follows two estranged cousins who reunite for a trip to Poland after the death of their beloved grandmother. Once inseparable, life has pulled them in different directions, but as they travel together, they’re forced to confront their grief—and each other. Along the way, they visit historical sites, including World War II concentration camps, adding a deeper layer of reflection on loss, identity, and the weight of the past.
Thoughts:
This film nails the messy, unpredictable nature of grief. The idea that we move neatly through “stages” is a myth—grief doesn’t follow rules, and loss reshapes everything. It’s also a great exploration of how people mourn not just loved ones, but also the past itself—friendships that have drifted, relationships that aren’t what they used to be.
Kieran Culkin’s character is a standout. He’s got this magnetic energy—funny, charming, the kind of person who lights up a room. But just as quickly, he can flip—becoming abrasive, exhausting, almost unbearable. That unpredictability is exactly what grief feels like—one moment you’re laughing, the next you’re completely unraveling. Then there’s Jesse Eisenberg’s character, who is much more internal, anxious, and introspective, which I personally relate to more.
Eisenberg not only stars in the film but also wrote and directed it, and I have to say, I was seriously impressed. It’s immersive, well-paced, and perfectly cast. The supporting characters are strong, and the way the film weaves in Poland’s history—especially the Jewish experience and the scars of war—adds so much depth. I saw an interview where Eisenberg mentioned that they were one of the only films allowed to shoot on location at a real concentration camp. These sites typically ban filming to avoid glorifying war, but because this film is about loss rather than war itself, they were granted permission. You can see it in the performances—there’s a rawness to those scenes that makes it clear the actors barely had to “act.”
I highly recommend A Real Pain. It’s moving, darkly funny, and deeply human. Available now on Disney+.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst—that idea shaped not just our week, but so many aspects of life. Our Noosa trip was meant to be a time of celebration, yet a looming cyclone forced us to adapt, balancing excitement with caution. It’s a familiar rhythm for anyone who has faced loss—especially families navigating pregnancy after loss. You hold onto hope, but you also brace yourself, knowing how quickly things can change.
That same tension runs through A Real Pain, a film about grief, family, and confronting the past. It captures how loss doesn’t follow neat stages—it’s messy, unpredictable, and reshapes everything. Reading the stories of loss from the Parent Advisory Council reinforced that truth. No matter how much time has passed, some wounds don’t close; we just learn to live with them. As the quote I’ve been pondering says, “There is no such thing as closure, only learning to live with the unanswered questions.”
Maybe that’s what resilience really is—not tying everything up with a perfect ending, but carrying the weight of the unknown and moving forward anyway.
If this resonated with you, please share this newsletter. The more people we reach, the more we can support those walking this path. You never know who might need to hear this today.
See you next week!
Rob
Giving Back
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