News from the Room
The Ripple Effect of Grief and Radicalisation: Reflections on Adolescence
Now this week I’m changing it up and combining what I’m watching: Adolescence, with my weekly reflection. Mainly because having just watched this series, I feel the themes in show are important to discuss.
Fair warning, spoilers a plenty. Skip this section if you haven’t watched it yet.
The TV show Adolescence doesn’t try to hide the truth. From the very beginning, it makes it clear and shows you exactly who committed the terrible murder of a young schoolgirl named Katie. You, the viewer, know that young 13-year-old Jamie did it. Yet, like his father, you don’t really want to believe it. You search for an explanation, a reason. Was it self defence, an accident, framed?
But we soon discover the awful truth.
He did it because the poisoned side of the digital world was allowed to corrupt his mind, unchecked by his parents or other adults in his life. He was bullied, he was made to feel ugly and unworthy of acceptance from his peers. Compounding this was the fact he had no positive role model to turn to for help. His father, who he once idolised, was busy trying to make ends meet working long hours so was no longer there for him. So with nowhere to place his concerns, his questions and aspirations, he looked online and found guidance in figures who exploited his vulnerability—men who spoke to those who felt marginalised. The problem was the environment that shaped him, an ecosystem that continues to radicalise young men under the guise of empowerment.
The Internet as Both the Problem and the Solution
Adolescence is an uncertain, often painful transition. Most young men lack direction or purpose during these years—it’s a rite of passage. In the past, guidance came from within communities: mentors, coaches, older relatives, and local leaders who helped shape young men into responsible adults. While not all of these influences were positive, the majority instilled values that respected others, and encouraged young men to contribute meaningfully to society.
Then the internet changed everything
It has the power to connect, to educate, to inspire. But it also has the power to trap. Algorithms don’t care about truth or morality; they care about engagement. They don’t ask if something is good for you, only whether it will keep you watching.
This is where the danger lies
Young men, lost and searching, aren’t just stumbling upon radicalising content—they’re being led there. The algorithm identifies vulnerability and anxiety and feeds it, creating a digital echo chamber where the same harmful messages are repeated, reinforced, and repackaged until they become undeniable truths to those caught inside.
But it doesn’t stop there
The internet works both ways. It doesn’t just radicalise young men; it can radicalise anyone, even you. Every user is placed into their own carefully curated world of content, designed not to challenge them but to affirm them. Whether the content is healthy or toxic, beneficial or destructive, doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is keeping you on the platform.
So the next time you’re scrolling, stop and ask yourself:
Are you curating your algorithm based on your own views and moral beliefs?
Or is the algorithm curating you?
Because once you lose control of that, the road you go down isn’t always one you would have chosen for yourself.
The Father's Grief—and Mine
Of all the perspectives in the show, it was the father’s journey that resonated with me the most. His anger. His pain. His grief. Every part of it felt familiar.
I’ve never physically attacked anyone. I’ve never vandalised anything (both depicted in the show). But the feeling—the urge to rage out, to scream at someone, anyone who got in my space—that feeling? I’ve known it. I’ve lived it.
And his grief—accepting that the son he thought he knew was gone—that was the part that cracked me open.
When he tucked in his sons teddy bear at the end, I was done. That small, quiet gesture held all the weight of his heartbreak.
Billie has a teddy bear. One we’ve had since the hospital, in Room Eleven. And we still hug it to this day.
That moment wasn’t about the boy anymore. It was about the memory of who he used to be. About the love that still lingers, even when everything else has shattered. And that’s where Adolescence finds its deepest truth—not just in the violence or the radicalisation, but in the unbearable, human ache that follows.
So what do we do with all of this?
We stay present. We stay connected. We become the role models we wish we had—or the ones we were lucky enough to find.
If you’re raising a young man, mentoring one, or simply existing in the orbit of someone trying to figure out who they are—pay attention.
Ask questions. Show up. Not with judgment, but with curiosity and care.
And next time you're online, scrolling through your feed, take a second to ask:
Is this feeding what I believe? Or is it forming what I believe?
The line between those two is where a lot of young people are getting lost. Let’s do what we can to help them find their way back.
The 411
This Week at Room Eleven
Scooting For Hope: Date confirmed - Training commenced
Not a huge update this week — outreach is still ticking along in the background.
I did my first test run on the scooter this week. Right now, I'm averaging about 11.5 km/h, which would land me just over 270 km in 24 hours. That’s promising. But that pace leaves no room for rest, let alone sleep.
So, I’m factoring in short breaks every 4 hours and one longer break. To hit my goal of exceeding 270 km, I need to be rolling at a minimum of 14 km/h.
Can I do it? Honestly, I have no idea.
Would it be exciting if I knew I could do it? Definitely not.
There’s no real growth unless I’m chasing something I’m not sure I can reach. That’s kind of the point.
The Event dates are booked in for the 29-30th of November. I’ll be meeting with the Calder Park team over the next couple of weeks to do a training run around the track and to also map out how the two days will go. Will keep you updated.
Weekly Musings
Quote I’m Pondering: “Strange how people who suffer together have stronger connections than people who are most content.” – Bob Dylan
It’s a line that makes a lot of sense to me. In the baby loss community, I’ve found myself having conversations — and real connections — with people I might never have met otherwise. Doctors, researchers, people at the top of their field. And then there’s me, whose formal education pretty much ended with a building and construction certificate.
But when you’ve been through something as life-altering as losing a child, all that other stuff fades into the background. You just get each other, without needing to explain too much. There’s something quietly powerful about that.
What I’m listening to: Modern Wisdom – “The Psychological Secrets That Build Billion Dollar Brands” with Rory Sutherland
Rory Sutherland is one of the world’s top minds when it comes to understanding consumer behaviour. He’s the Vice Chairman of Ogilvy UK, a published author, and someone who sees the world through a slightly sideways — but incredibly insightful — lens.
This episode was two hours of sharp takes and unexpected angles. They covered everything from why posh buildings still have doormen, to whether higher taxpayers should get more privileges, to why Trump’s marketing campaign worked and how democratic party’s downfall is the lack of marketing finesse. He also touches on the state of British culture, how brands try (and fail) to be cool, what makes a product or idea stand out in a world overloaded with noise — and how office spaces need an overhaul to adapt to the current hybrid work environment.
It’s all over the place in the best way. Just an interesting listen if you like psychology, marketing, or thinking about the hidden levers that shape what we buy, believe, and pay attention to.
What I’m Watching (Part ii)– Adolescence
I know I’ve mentioned Adolescence before, but this time I want to talk about how technically impressive it is.
Each episode is filmed in one continuous, uncut take. No edits, no camera breaks — just one long, meticulously choreographed shot that captures every moment in real-time. That kind of filming demands absolute precision. The cast and crew rehearse each episode like a stage play, with the camera moving through tight spaces, coordinating with actors, lighting, and sound without missing a beat.
To give you a sense of how intense that process is: in one episode, one of the lead actors had to sprint a long distance, totally breathless, then jump straight into an interrogation scene. He nailed the delivery — except right at the very end, he accidentally called the suspect by the wrong name. After all that, they had to scrap the take and start again from the very beginning.
Imagine the pressure. Everyone would’ve been running on adrenaline, trying to hold their nerve for up to an hour at a time with zero room for error. It’s a huge technical and creative gamble — but when it works, it makes you feel like you're in the story, not just watching it.
This week serves as a powerful reminder of how important it is to stay present and connected, particularly for vulnerable young people, and to ensure that our actions—both online and offline—are contributing positively.
In my own work, whether it’s pushing toward my Guinness World Record challenge or sharing my grief journey through Room Eleven, I see how growth, resilience, and empathy can reshape these ripples into something that heals, teaches, and empowers.
Every action, no matter how small, contributes to the bigger picture. This week, take a moment to reflect on one person in your life—whether a child, a colleague, or a friend—and reach out to offer your support or guidance. It could be a simple conversation, a word of encouragement, or a shared resource that can help them navigate their challenges.
See you next week!
Rob
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