News from the Room
Unspoken Pain Turns Into Quiet Distance
We’ve all experienced it—that slow drift between ourselves and someone we once felt inseparable from. A friend. A family member. A partner. One day you’re sharing everything, and the next, conversations are reduced to surface-level check-ins, if they happen at all. It’s easy to chalk it up to "life getting busy," but often, something deeper sits beneath that quiet gap: unspoken pain.
The Weight of Unspoken Pain
Emotional pain thrives in silence. When we bury our struggles—whether it’s grief, stress, or personal battles—we think we’re protecting ourselves or sparing others from discomfort. In reality, we’re eroding the foundation of our relationships. Studies show that emotional suppression can have far-reaching effects, not just on our mental and physical health, but on our ability to maintain meaningful connections.
When we hide our pain, we create emotional distance, often without realising it. Conversations become shallower, vulnerable moments become rarer, and gradually, that person you once confided in becomes someone you "used to know."
Why We Stay Silent
There’s a reason people hesitate to open up. Vulnerability feels risky. Society often romanticises resilience as the ability to "keep it all together," equating openness with weakness. But the research doesn’t support this. Work by Dr. Brené Brown (2012) emphasises that vulnerability is not a weakness; it’s a fundamental component of deep human connection. When we deny ourselves the chance to be seen in our pain, we deny others the opportunity to meet us there.
Another layer is grief—an emotion particularly prone to silence. Many people experiencing grief feel uncomfortable sharing their emotions with others for fear of "burdening" them or not being understood. This reluctance can magnify feelings of loneliness, creating wider relational gaps that become difficult to bridge over time.
The Cost of Distance
The longer pain goes unspoken, the wider the quiet distance becomes. Missed conversations turn into missed connections. Invitations fade. Texts remain unsent. Both parties move along their own paths, each unaware of the unaddressed gap that continues to grow.
Emotional disengagement—where people gradually avoid vulnerability and suppress deeper discussions—correlates with decreased relationship satisfaction and increased feelings of detachment. Left unchecked, suppressed pain doesn’t just affect one relationship—it seeps into others, creating patterns of emotional isolation across our lives.
Closing the Gap
The solution isn’t glamorous, but it is simple: speak. Be willing to have the uncomfortable conversations. Share your struggles with those you trust—even if it feels awkward at first. Vulnerability invites connection; it allows the people in your life to not only understand you better but also feel safe enough to share their own pain.
A Call for Openness
If there’s someone you’ve drifted from, take a moment to consider whether unspoken pain might be part of the distance. Reach out. Share something real. It doesn’t have to be a grand confession—just an honest moment can begin to close the gap.
Because unspoken pain will always demand space.
And that space, if left unchecked, quietly becomes distance.
The 411
This Week at Room Eleven
Scooting for Hope is officially live!
The Scooting for Hope Fundraiser has officially launched. After weeks of prep, the incredible team at the Royal Women’s Hospital have finalised the fundraising page—and we’re now open for donations.
The goal: $100,000. And today, we’re at $100.
Can we get to $500 by next week?
Every dollar counts. Every share matters. The more people we reach, the more families we can support through the Pregnancy After Loss Clinic.
This is our chance to turn heartbreak into hope—on two wheels, across 24 hours, one kilometre at a time.
Here’s the link. Please share it far and wide:
https://dandelion-fund.raiselysite.com/
Outreach & Opportunities:
Want to partner with the Scooting for Hope campaign?
This week has been all about connection—reaching out to brands, businesses, and allies who believe in turning pain into purpose. We've crafted a strong sponsorship and advertising package for anyone who wants to get involved.
From naming rights and livestream exclusives to social ad space and custom activations, there’s something for every business—large or local.
If someone in your network is looking for a cause with real heart and powerful reach, pass this along. Let’s build something great together.
What I’m watching: About Time (2013)
I first watched About Time a few years back only because I heard it was about time travel. That was enough to get me in the door. What kept me there—and what brings me back to it years later—is that it’s not really about time travel. It’s about life.
Written by Richard Curtis (the guy behind Love Actually and Four Weddings and a Funeral), this film is often marketed as a romantic comedy. But it's much deeper than that. It's a reflection on how we move through our days, how we choose to see them, and how easy it is to forget the beauty in the ordinary.
It’s not a love story. It’s a life story.
And if you haven't seen it yet—add it to the list.
What I’m Reading: Golden Son – Book II of the Red Rising Trilogy
I absolutely tore through Red Rising and jumped straight into Golden Son without missing a beat. Where Book I introduced the world, Book II deepens it—expanding the lore, heightening the political intrigue, and pulling you further into its web of rebellion and sacrifice.
Some of the themes in this book draw clear parallels with our world today—a repeating cycle of inequality and hardship, famine and war, genocide and conquest, followed by prosperity, growth, decadence, and, once again, inequality. And the cycle continues.
It’s smart, fast-paced, and full of big questions about power, loyalty, and the systems we live under.
If you’re a fan of Dune, Star Wars, & Firefly, this series is well worth your time.
Rob Recommends: The Lord of the Rings: The Musical
My dad and I went to see this on Tuesday night at the Comedy Theatre, and I’ve got to say—it was pure magic.
For those living under a rock who aren’t privy to the story here’s a brief synopsis. The Lord of the Rings is an epic fantasy story set in Middle-earth, where a young hobbit, Frodo Baggins, is entrusted with destroying the One Ring, a powerful artifact created by the Dark Lord Sauron. Along with a group of companions, Frodo embarks on a dangerous journey to Mount Doom, where the Ring must be destroyed to prevent Sauron from taking over the world. The trilogy explores themes of friendship, courage, and the battle between good and evil.
The show opens at Bilbo’s 111th birthday party. Hobbits wander through the crowd, setting up lights, instruments, and inviting you into their world. From that first moment, you’re not just watching the story—you’re in it.
What stood out most was the cast. Every actor wasn’t just a performer, but a musician too. Pippin would deliver a scene, then turn and play the violin. Sam played guitar and drums. It was a seamless, living ensemble—and it worked beautifully.
Of course, with such an epic tale, they had to make some cuts to fit it into a three-hour runtime. But they pulled it off. The essence of Tolkien is still there—both from the books and the films—and I left the theatre feeling deeply satisfied.
If you get the chance, go. It’s a rare and joyful way to experience a classic. The show finishes up in Melbourne on June 16th.
In conclusion, this week’s newsletter is a reflection on the quiet ways pain can isolate us—from each other, from ourselves, and from the life we’re meant to live. Whether it’s unspoken grief creating distance between loved ones, or the challenge of turning personal heartbreak into shared hope, everything in this issue ties back to Room Eleven’s core themes: Grief, Growth, and Resilience.
From the emotional cost of silence to the power of sharing stories—whether through a conversation, a film, a book, or a stage show—each moment reminds us of the beauty that can emerge when we choose connection over isolation.
The takeaway?
Don’t wait. Speak the thing. Share the moment. Close the gap before it becomes a canyon.
If you’ve found something meaningful in this week’s words, please forward it to just one person who might need it too.
See you next week!
Rob
Giving Back
Donate a Still Billie Box
Our care packages for families who’ve lost their baby, named after our baby daughter Billie. Offering comfort during what should be a joyful season. Your donation can make a real difference in allowing us to provide free Still Billie Boxes to hospitals across Australia.
Room Eleven is a social enterprise business and does not qualify for DGR status.